"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
A 24-year-old man is looking out of a train’s window and shouting loudly…
“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”
His father smiled and noticed a young couple sitting nearby, who were observing the 24-year old’s childish behaviour with pity.
Suddenly the young man again exclaimed…
“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man:
“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”
”The old man smiled and said…“I did, and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”
Let me give you an example when I used to teach body combat class, the participants were around 40 to 60. One morning there was a new participant, as soon as I open my mouth. His comment was “this is going to be interesting” so he judges right away based on my accent, all the rest of the participants in the class were enjoying their time, smiling and having fun, he was the only one frowning and looking for something to complain about. So his experience was very unpleasant one just from one simple thing.
But imagine if he were to let go of that judgement about the accent or whatever that he sees in me, just enjoy the music and the exercise and join in with the crowd that having a good time, it would be a much pleasant experience for him, is it not?
In you, maybe your partner, parents. Have you wonder if you mentally labelling them because if you do, you’ll be like that guy in that class, everyone around you, your partner, your parents are all having a good time, you are the only one that has a hard time or unpleasant life experience, because of one thing, judgement. There is a difference between judgement and discernment, we can discern but not judge. For example, If I like vanilla ice cream and you don’t, if you were to discerning. You would say that’s cool. You like the vanilla ice cream, and I don’t. Judgement is like, you what? Like the vanilla ice cream? I can’t believe you like the vanilla ice cream. You are a jerk! Just because you don’t like the vanilla ice cream, you don’t have to project that dislike on to others. It happens everywhere when you turn your face. In business, there are many systems in business include franchise, network marketing and traditional business where you build your own company. Instead of appreciating the uniqueness of a business system that exists, people go around and say these words, you what? Join a network marketing? Start your own business? That’s too risky. It’s MLM and so on. So they unconsciously project their fear of stepping out of their own comfort zone to others.
In a relationship, when our partner behaves unconsciously instead of discerning we would go around and broadcast our partner’s unconscious behaviour, other in our own head or find someone to talk to about it. Discerning is where we would look at the other person through the eyes of love and say that’s his or her conditioning that could cause by his or her upbringing, so you see beyond the mental conditioning and differentiate between mental programming and the real being that he or she is.
Just like that two couple on the train judge a 24 years old man, all of us walking around use the same mentality of judging. I understand that this is endemic all of us suffer from it, my suggestion here is to imagine what our world would look like if we were to walk around with discerning rather than judging. Dedy, you like vanilla ice cream. That’s cool. I like chocolate ice cream. From there we go on with our life and minding our own business, I think the world would be fantastic and a better place to live in if all of us were to accept that reality. Let me leave you with this, my friend, choose discernment and let go of judgement.